Overwhelmed. Again.

How is it that feeling overwhelmed about one's household logistics can come back to re-visit?

How is it that it can do so (and somewhat more doggedly), when re-visiting for another attacking round?

Being real, that is what has happened. I'm sure there are many others that would be very familiar with this experience also.

Having had the best laid plans, somehow a now familiar feeling of being overwhelmed by all that needs to be put back in order, or is due to be seasonally revised for better functionality and overall domestic organization, has returned.

A sense of being clueless about the art of domestic organization and management, plus the tell-tale signs of fatigue starting, have all crept in to nag at me again.

Sometime ago I posted a post titled Clueless. You may have read it. In fact, it has proven to be one of the most read posts on this particular blog.

Maybe it was a post read by many that identified with what was shared. Perhaps for many that read it, that particular post created such an 'uh-huh' moment that they then sent the link onto a friend.

Perhaps it was a post that touched a sensitive nerve. Maybe it proved to be a blog post that put the common feeling of being overwhelmed out there, and it proved to be an online read which many a reader quietly nodded over with empathy and common understanding.

The reality is: for all the picture perfect organized homes out there on Pinterest and shining in stunning glorious-ness across the Internet........ there is just such a common sense of feeling clueless about domesticity by a really significant number of people around the world!

There is much offered online to spark us into action on the domestic front. We plough ahead to create more order, greater functional routines..... yet a significant number of us struggle with feeling overwhelmed several times over.

We feel somewhat overwhelmed repeatedly, to the point of feeling pursued by something like a snapping black dog. I know I do.

There is just so much available to spur us on, to direct and help us each take courage to make the most of the time, energy & resources available to us all! The pressure can and does at times feel immense.

If ONLY we tried this, bought that, persisted by pushing through somehow it would all MIRACULOUSLY work towards creating that utopia of a functioning, peaceful, orderly home-life experience. Yet a sense of being overwhelmed pesters many of us! Go figure!

The sense of feeling clueless about all things domestic comes to re-visit again and again.  Just like it's not so distant and equally unpleasant relative: Over-whelmed-ness, it comes again to align it's shoulder with ours.

As much as I see progress happening step-by-step, drawer-by-drawer, cupboard by cupboard, area by area, etc here in my neck-of-the-woods, a sense of feeling overwhelmed with regard to the pursuit of obtaining effective household logistics somehow casts a significant shadow every so often.

Feeling overwhelmed is hard.

Knowing it has knocked on my door again, somehow makes it doubly hard also.

Feeling overwhelmed, with it's jarring snappiness pestering at the heels, has made it unfortunately clear that feeling overwhelmed has rung the doorbell and stepped in to come to visit with me again for a while.

How to deal with feeling overwhelmed when it has come to reside?

That is the million dollar question it would seem.

It would be interesting to know how others push through and deal to this unpleasant companion when it returns to hound them somewhat also.

How do others deal with the black dog called Overwhelmed-ness, when it slinks back in, with something of a jarring snapping bark, to stop over and visit again?

How do you personally deal with it and journey through it? Particularly when it somehow seems to bite and bark somewhat more loudly when it has come to re-visit again?

Feeling overwhelmed. Again.

By all that beckons and visually states that the household logistics need further work......... Some answers are required.

Clutter & Guilt

This is the first part of a series I thought I would do on Guilt. Yes, guilt. It comes in a number of forms. Some of us will relate to perhaps to just one or two forms it can take. Others of us, may well relate to a number of forms that this particular snapping dog of an emotion takes on, in order to hound us.

Today's post is going to be on the relationship that can exist between clutter and guilt. It is going to share some thoughts that have been floating around, waiting for me to place them on paper (or on a screen as is the case here in blog-land).

Hopefully some of the points shared may strike a chord with someone else also. Maybe they will prove to be helpful for moving forward in a manner that may be more constructive and/or helpful, as you go about determining your own form of household logistics also.

Clutter and guilt: here are some thoughts......

Guilt. It can take many forms. One of the most underhand forms it can take, is in making the process of de-cluttering highly emotionally charged at times.

Instead of simply getting rid of things tucked away and never used, we can suddenly be tied up in emotional knots by guilt manifesting itself. Suddenly a powerful range of emotions can become tangled up, can cling to some item that once out of sight is often out of mind. Suddenly, due to guilt, that very item can generate a cloudy, murky should-I-or-shouldn't-I dilemma about whether one should purge or continue to keep the said item.

 

Guilt. It can at times be the most unnecessary of companions when facing sorting, purging and de-cluttering. It is something I have struggled with, and to date still have to process, as I continue to go about sorting, purging and de-cluttering this year as part of my own personal de-cluttering project for 2014.

Sometimes I simply feel like I want to be angry about the burdensome-ness of family heirlooms passed on to me. I loathe the guilt that can and does at times show it's ugly face, when out from amongst a pile or from up on top of a shelf something previously gifted to me, yet never used, comes to my attention and requires for me to make that purge or keep decision.

Yet, other times I thoroughly appreciate the joy family heirlooms can provide. I thoroughly appreciate the link provided with past generations, the beauty of hand-crafted items by loved ones who have passed on. An embroidered cloth able to be draped over a table surface, a china cup, saucer and plate set to use at a garden tea party..... they are in that instance a lovely legacy from further up the family tree, plus something that creates beauty and joy in the present moment also.

I think the key for me, and perhaps it might prove to be the key for others also, is to refer back to that very first statement with which I launched this very blog. That very insightful statement made so long ago, yet which rings so true even today, which William Morris made: "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful".

As I continue to face the numerous boxes, drawers, shelves, etc requiring review over the next little while, I may well write that statement literally out, for me to refer to, for guidance over the next little while.

It may well prove to be the most helpful of objective guidelines again and again. It may well prove to be the most appropriate of guidelines for addressing any possible (and quite likely) guilt and therefore anxiety waiting to nip at my heels.

Guilt. It is a nasty little snapping dog of an emotion I find. Sometimes it is easy to tell it to heel and get behind me. Other times, it loves to come up with all sorts of great excuses for why this and that should remain. Yet, today is today, and what was cannot always be allowed to dictate and shape what is now to occur.

Have nothing in your house (your linen cupboard, your garage, your bathroom drawer, the top shelf in your wardrobe, lurking in the far back corner of your kitchen cupboard...) that you (yes you, your spouse, your child, those currently in your household...) know (have first-hand knowledge by making practical use of it) to be useful, or believe to be beautiful (appealing to the eye, pleasant to the ear, deliciously aromatic for the nose.....).

Thank you William Morris. You have provided a wise and insightful statement and directive for those of us seeking to de-clutter and to gain greater visual and spatial simplicity.

Helpful Steps to Address a Sense of Feeling Overwhelmed: Part One De-cluttering

Feeling overwhelmed can strike us all at some point, when it comes to administrating a household.

Living in a household with real people and very real everyday daily busyness and activity results in messes.

It results in cycles of cleaning, sorting and putting away that sometimes do not flow exactly as systematically and routinely as they were intentionally set out to.

Sometimes it can seem that from the moment you open the front door, you can face a visual testimony of a sock, a shoe, a discarded sweatshirt, toys, books.... even a school bag, all haphazardly thrown aside at some point on to the floor or any other free surface.

Why does it seem to repeatedly occur, when everyone knows where these very things go, where they belong and should be put, once they are no longer required?

It can feel like you are repetitively reminding those it concerns to put x,y and even z on the designated hook, in the designated drawer or cupboard, in the designated room to no avail.

It can seem at times that somehow you have not yet figured out some effective means to create the same flow of routines, household organization that others seemingly have mastered somehow.

You may well often wonder: How do they do it? How do they manage it?

How often, do you honestly just feel overwhelmed?

Let's be real. Let's be honest. It can feel like there is always a lot of catching up to be catching up with.

A part of the home may well seem to perhaps not yet have a system of organization that is working best for that area.

It does take time.

Our homes are places where a specific group of people, linked by love, meet and greet each other. Our homes house are a unique small community of people who laugh and cry together, play out tussles and imaginative play, eat meals and fellowship together and make resulting messes.

Our houses, for all their occasional messes, however big or small they may be, are those unique special places we lovingly call home.

One step that can be most beneficial to addressing a sense of being overwhelmed and can help to make the administration and management of that very place everyone calls home perhaps a little more effective, is to take time to do some de-cluttering occasionally.

Having recently hosted a Kitchen Swap Party, which helped me focus on de-cluttering the Kitchen Area, I am now working towards do a more general de-clutter about our home.

As time and energy allows, the aim at present is to sort and purge those no longer required items that can be offered at a Letter 'B' themed Swap Party I am going to be hosting soon.

Such surplus, and no longer required items, as books, baby & boys' clothing, bathroom items, bedding, building blocks, BBQ items, even items that are now surplus that are coloured blue, brown, beige, black.... anything from in and around the home that starts with the letter 'B', can all be quietly purged and put aside for this next Swap Party with the letter 'B' theme, if it is time to part with them.

De-cluttering is a helpful step to take to address a sense of being overwhelmed.

A general sort and purge occasionally, which helps to de-clutter the home, is beneficial.

Having a cardboard box or two put aside to collect the items as they are purged, means it is very clear what is being removed.

Whether you choose to use a cardboard box, a surplus plastic bag or the like, it is good to determine from the start a place to put aside those items you have selected as you go about de-cluttering when time allows.

It is very clear then, that they are now put aside and no longer available to simply clutter their original storage place in the home.

You can decide to focus on de-cluttering just one specific area of the home per week, per month.... or do a more general de-clutter like I am choosing to presently do. Do whatever works best for you and your household.

Other household members can be actively involved also, in an occasional de-clutter about the home.

Children can be encouraged to go through their books and toys.

What now seems to be no longer needed and age inappropriate, could potentially through a Swap Party, a Garage Sale, a forthcoming School Fair Collection, a local Charity or being sold online, be passed on to other children who would now enjoy and make good use of them.

If one household member engages more than another in the household's upkeep of the garden and outdoor area, they might like to take some time to actively de-clutter the Garden Shed, the Garage Cupboards where tools, seed packets, BBQ equipment, etc are kept.

An occasional de-clutter that engages all household members encourages joint responsibility for maintaining the homes physical environment, plus the care and administration of it's resources.

De-cluttering is a good starting point for helping to address any sense of being overwhelmed that may occasionally arise. I highly recommend it.

Next in this small series titled Helpful Steps to Address a Sense of being Overwhelmed: Setting A Household Directive.

What is a Household Directive? What does it entail? How often can it be set? Who can be involved in creating it?

This next Post in this Blog series will share the idea of a Household Directive with you and how you might like to create one also.