It is Day Twenty-Six of The $1,000 Plan and today I want to again emphasize the importance of guarding your mindset, while you work away at a financial goal (or any other goal for that matter).
Unfortunately, throughout life we often have people come across our path who, on reflection, can be tiring due to their negativity. They are people who give off a draining, low-level energy vibe and you are left feeling tired after you have spent time in their company. Their negative mindset has encroached, both literally and figuratively, on your own outlook and experience of the world about you, and perhaps your hoped for goal and plan now feels a little shaken.
People who often have an underlying predominately negative mindset, one that focuses on lack & limitation, will unwittingly project that mindset on to others. They will voice what is an underlying spirit of pessimism rather than a spirit of optimism. They will often make much-a-do about the cons, and not so much about the pros, from the outset, when any changes are being sought to be embraced.
When you are working towards a goal, a vision or a dream, you need to guard yourself against the influence of those that would try to always sway you down a path of negativity. There is no value at all in dallying with that which is heavily weighted towards the negative, when approaching something new.
There are those who, as you share something of your plan and vision, will feel it is their duty to remind you of all the great possible risks, negative consequences and obstructive possibilities that could come your way, if you try to do things differently.
They will intentionally focus first on what could go wrong, rather than what could go right, because they have sadly developed that habitual negative way of thinking. They over emphasize the what ifs, and the what coulds, from a habitual negative based thinking. They can repeat it again and again, because for them it is worthy of being a noted deal breaker.
They make a big deal of what could go wrong, because from their viewpoint, it is the negatives that will stand out first and foremost with any venture. This is a pattern of thinking that is a habitual way of thinking.
They are the nanny naysayers, and they find people doing something innovative, creative and different, to be people that need to be reminded of risk, the potential danger, that the unchartered territory they may journey over may perhaps hold.
They leave a toxic energy in their wake, and you walk away feeling drained, your ability to make sound judgements questioned and your previous clarity of mind is nothing but clouded. They essentially project that your ability to reason and rationalise is not as good as theirs. This is draining discouragement working at its most potent. Take care!
It can be incredibly challenging to not let these downers bring you down. Their unconscious gift for discouragement can be quite the damp and heavy blanket to pass on. When you wish to try something new, when you want to work towards a goal, you need to guard your thought life. You need to see with clarity just what it is you are valuing and upholding, and rest assured that it is positive and good for you.
The following are some points that can help when it comes to guarding your own thought life, plus also assist with dealing with a Debbie Downer (that family member, friend, colleague, or some other individual), who rather habitually take a negative stance in response to hearing you share about a plan and hoped for dream.
(1) Create distance. You don't need to ever reply immediately to a Debbie Downer who questions and sends the clear message that they wish to challenge your wisdom or process of decision-making. Take your time.
Where possible, create distance in terms of how much contact you have to literally have with this person for a while if they are overly pessimistic. If necessary also seek to retain ongoing distance as you look to go forward.
Don't go out of your way to seek spending any additional time with them for a while, particularly while you are working through your plans. Should it be necessary or unavoidable to spend time with them, keep any further conversation brief, polite and then calmly turn and proactively walk away when it is clearly time from your perspective for the conversation to alter.
Stand behind a desk or on the other side of an actual physical barrier when interacting with the person, if this will help remind you that this person need not overpower you own sense of personal empowerment.
Having a literal physical barrier can sometimes be just what is needed to help you retain a sense of disengagement from their negative feedback and pessimistic words, while you are in close proximity.
If you are struggling to not feel overwhelmed by their negativity, a literal gap or barrier can help remind you that this person's critical mindset is just not one you are willing to freely allow access to your own thoughts and viewpoint.
(2) Share less. We can sometimes be our own worst enemy in our excitement and enthusiasm. We unwittingly share in too much detail that which is currently dear and precious to us, because we are excited and thrilled about what is unfolding for us. Too much detail and too much information can sometimes be used against us. Know your listener. Pick carefully your listener.
The listener who will no doubt throw a bucket of ice cold water on our dreams and plans, because pessimism is their dominant guiding perspective, is not a listener who warrants hearing about what is precious to us. They simply will not share reciprocating joy in any measure. Share less.
Be discerning about what response anyone may give you. If the listener has a history of always having a negative, obstructive viewpoint no matter the subject, don't go outlaying your plans before them. Pick your audience and your timing wisely.
(3) Do your research carefully. Lay your plans done well by doing sound research. Plans that are not well thought through will prove to be easy fodder for those who routinely want to be criticial. It can be very helpful to have feedback from others, and it is wise to seek it. The pessimist however, will only see red flags if you leave too many out for them to see. Prepare wisely.
Seek good counsel where and when you are able to, and the benefit will be that your resulting conviction will be even stronger. Pick your audience and be wise in determining what feedback you should in fact take onboard.
It is so much easier to persevere when times do eventually get tough when you have good foundation behind you. It helps to support your conviction to work towards a particular goal when you have quietly done your homework. Lay out what steps you feel are best to take, and lay them out as best you can, from the outset.
(4) Take one step at a time. Rome was not built in a day. It is highly likely that all the pros and cons were not resolved in one day either. Remember to approach your goal one step at a time, one day at a time, and take heart that that IS actually sufficient.
We sometimes have a big picture outlook and have only several steps sorted in which to take us off and along towards achieving a hoped for goal when setting out, and that IS okay. It isn't always the way that things are all sorted before we begin.
Stepping out in faith is sometimes what is required to get started. We can step out to try something new and it is okay to not have all the answers straight away. Sometimes it is on the actual journey towards our goal making that everything finally falls into place. Sometimes it is only then, while we are on the way, that the actual pathway to take is finally revealed.
We can step out and still be learning and seeking wisdom along the way. One step at a time still allows us to practise wisdom and discernment. We can be confident in the current step, while we are still investigating all that is good and right for the next step.
I hope by sharing these points that they will be a source of encouragement. It is always wise to be aware of the pros and cons involved with any endeavour, yet this can be worked through without letting pessimism have a field day.
We can guard our mindset and be wise about looking after the first growing shoots of our hoped for plans and dreams, when working towards a particular goal. When it comes to achieving our goals, a positive, sound mindset is a very, very healthy mindset.
John Easterling and Olivia Newton-John, August 2020
