Deception creates damage that often cannot be reversed. It creates damage that wounds and hurts like no other. Deception wounds and hurts so devastatingly, so dreadfully, because it tampers with the reality that is being experienced by those bound together by the relationship.
Discovering you are being deceived creates a sense of betrayal of trust like no other. It is initially shocking, but ultimately deeply, deeply painful.
Deception shatters the reality of others. It erodes trust and respect like nothing else. Damaging another person's sense of reality, by engaging in deception, is indeed very, very immoral and very cruel.
Deception involves blatant compromising. It involves deliberately risking and compromising the trust and respect that should be deemed unconditionally foundational and key always.
That deemed key to a healthy, loving and caring relationship? It should have no link whatsoever to the plans and orchestrations carried out by deception ever.
Deception sows insecurity and distrust like nothing else.
Deception plays with truth and what is real. Deception spits at integrity and transparency. It poisons them and the ability for them to thrive is gravely thwarted.
Deception tears a relationship apart. The inability to trust what is being said, to trust what is being done or to trust what will be done; deception only can ever sow a road for destruction.
Deception seeds the dissolution of a relationship, no matter how much the deceiver tries to blindly believe it doesn't.
Relationships require several key principles to be in place, and kept in place, for them to be strong, healthy and enduring. These key principles include trust, openness, mutual respect and personal freedom. When these key principles are not daily nurtured and guarded, deception has claimed great ground.
Honesty has to be present each and every day in a relationship, and honesty and deception simply cannot be happy bedfellows.
Love lasts when how we are being treated remains safe, healthy and very trustworthy. Deception and love simply cannot travel along together pretending to hold hands.
Deception rocks and tampers with the core foundations of a relationship. Those that engage in deception are attempting to fool not only others, but also themselves, as to the survivability of the relationship going forward.
Deception and lies shatter the reality of others.
The reality of what deception is and what it does? Deception is a force of destruction no matter how small it begins.
Deception paves the way for so many forms of infidelity, no matter how clever the deceiver thinks they may be at controlling the outcomes of enacting deception.
Deception is linked to disloyalty. Deception is linked to unfaithfulness. When an agreed commitment and promise is deliberately reneged on and broken, again and again, deception has clearly entered the game.
To deceive is to actively cheat.
You cheat, you rob, you steal from the other person when you allow deception to enter in and guide the doing of both little and larger things. Those unfaithful in small things fool only themselves if they think faithfulness and loyalty are only required for the bigger things of life.
A deceiver deceives themselves. They are personally ultimately robbed, they are personally ultimately stolen from, in both little and larger things, when being deceptive has become part of how they contribute to the dynamics of a relationship.
A promise keeper must be a promise keeper always, not only when it best suits himself.
Respect, love, honesty and freedom are core values central always to a healthy and safe relationship. Without them, a relationship is nothing but a hollow and shallow shell of what it could in fact be.
Being at the receiving end of deception is devastating. Deception breaks trust like nothing else. Deception is truly a heart breaker.
Deception ushers in confusion, anger, anxiety, doubt and even shame. The hurt that deception lays down creates a deep path, one that takes a considerably long time to process and recover from.
A relationship damaged by deception simply cannot be healed overnight, and sometimes it cannot be healed at all.
A victim of deception is not responsible for the actions of their deceiver. No, not ever.
Fault and blame must be laid at the feet of the rightfully responsible person; the deceiver.
Nothing will ever justify or rectify the act of deception the deceiver chose to sow and lay out to be harvested. Fault and blame squarely lie solely at the deceiver's feet.
We all must reap what we each sow in this life, and to blame the harvest sown by deception on the innocent is another great, unwarranted, secondary deception at times engaged in by a habitual deceiver.
It is devastating to wake up to a relationship being one that contained deceit.
It is devastating to realisation that you sadly really cannot expect anything but further deceit from someone who has made a habit and art of not only deceiving others, but also themselves.
Regardless of what onlookers may say and wish to see orchestrated, those that have run foul and victim to a deceiver are very entitled to choose to move forward seeking what is safest, what is healthiest and what is most real and true for them only. A deceiver warrants the fruit of their deception falling back solely best around only themselves.
It is normal to still feel love and care for someone who engages in deception. You can love what perhaps what once was, and you can love what might have been.
Reality however, can also reveal that the best, the safest and healthiest way forward is really to ensure one shows love, respect and care first and foremost to oneself.
The mind and the heart need to be given as much time as they need and require to heal. Sometimes the time and space needed are substantially bigger than first anticipated, and that is why compassion and empathy must always be extended.
We simply do not have to condone bad choices and bad experiences, that others habitually put us through, in an unloving and uncaring fashion.
Deception is a bad choice. An incredibly bad choice. Deception is a bad experience. An incredibly, heart wrenching bad experience.
Deception has no place whatsoever alongside true love and true care ever. No, not ever.
Love, true and unconditional, real, safe and healthy love, is never kept in the company of deception.
Being the victim of deception is traumatic. It is heart wrenching and it is heartbreaking.
Recovering from deception's devastation requires the support and care of others who compassionately come alongside us. It is wise often to also seek out professional help, alongside the love and support offered by family and close friends that we can and do trust.
Being dealt a new reality at the hand of a deceiver, requires new strategies for facing and living out one's daily life.
There is hope. There is always hope, and one day the pain and the devastation will be ever so much less overpowering and overwhelming.
The reality of deception? Deception is cruel, it is unkind and it is completely morally corrupt.
The reality after experiencing the heart break caused by deception at the hand of someone else?
There is life, a good, safe and very beautiful life ahead in one's future, beyond and far away from both the deceiver and their wicked and very dark, low and thunderous ways.
Hang on, Hurting Heart, hang on. Hang on as best you can, and choose to raise your head that little bit higher with each passing day, in order to watch for the rainbow about to appear, high and brilliant, in your own clearing sky.
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